This was at the Baftas in 1987. My gown was made by Dynasty's resident dress designer Nolan Miller. It had a 20-inch waistband, which meant eating was out of the question. Nolan designed up to four new frocks for me every week. Because my weight doesn't fluctuate he made a model of me, which saved having endless fittings. His only complaint was about my breasts. "Why can't you have plastic tits like everyone else?" he'd ask. Mine are real and would keep moving about.

Here, Nolan Miller's made dresses for Joan Collins and I that perfectly compliment one another, with neither one upstaging the other. He was so clever. It was a house rule that I was never allowed to wear black tights or red nail varnish because that was the trademark of Alexis.

This is June 1991, when Rupert Everett and I were appearing in a production of Noel Coward's The Vortex in Los Angeles and I played his mother. In my opinion, Rupert is the best-looking film star since Cary Grant. He's devastatingly attractive, even if he did give me a hernia from having to push me in the stomach during each performance. I can feel it to this day.